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Jueves, 09 Marzo 2017 09:20

ESTEM SOBREPROTEGINT ALS FILLS?

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(1 voto)

 

El Dubte crea curiositat i ganes de saber, però també provoca incertesa. L’objectiu d’aquestes trobades és aprendre alguna cosa nova, valorar les nostres pautes educatives com a pares i buscar la confiança per continuar amb el dia a dia.

 

En primer lloc, ens vam situar dintre d’un model educatiu per començar a valorar si la meva intervenció educativa amb el meu fill està sent la més adequada per ell. Parlàvem de tres estils: autoritari, lliure, democràtic i sobreprotector. Aquest últim és el que ens va ocupar tota la xerrada.

 

Com sabem si som una família sobreprotectora? Ens fixàvem en aquests criteris:

 

  • No deixo que el meu fill/a faci coses sol per por a que li passi alguna cosa i també per desconfiança.
  • Sobreprotegeixo per comoditat meva i així disminueixo les meves preocupacions.
  • El sobreprotegeixo per evitar les seves frustracions, que s’enfadi, que es posi trist.
  • Excedeixo en la permissivitat.
  • Estem molt ocupats i estressats, ja que haig d’assolir les meves responsabilitats i les dels meus fills.
  • La sobreprotecció omet moltes normes ja que no volem exigir massa als nens.
  • La culpa és el gran motor d’aquests pares i mares.

 

Com a conseqüències en els fills d’aquest model educatiu destacàvem les següents:

 

  • Nens i adolescents autoritaris que manen a casa.
  • Tenen moltes dificultats de tolerància a la frustració.
  • No saben resoldre els seus conflictes.
  • Són fills poc autònoms, amb baixa autoestima i baixa motivació davant dels reptes.
  • I com els seus pares, solen culpabilitzar als altres dels seus errors.

 

Vam parlar d’algunes estratègies per evitar aquestes conseqüències i fomentar l’autonomia i autoestima, com per exemple:

 

  • Mantenir una comunicació oberta, real i sincera amb els nostres fills. Ens serà de profit per l’etapa adolescent.
  • Entendre que els errors són part del creixement i no de la seva personalitat. Practicar el verb “estar” enlloc del “ser”.
  • Dir el que SÍ poden fer, enlloc del que NO poden fer.
  • Donar opcions per escollir i així els fem participar de la seva pròpia història.
  • Fomentar la resolució de problemes conjuntament.
  • Adjudicar i repartir responsabilitats tenint en compte la seva edat.

 

Per saber on haig de posar el límit de la PROTECCIÓ haig de ser coherent amb el que penso i sento, valorar la capacitat de responsabilitat del meu fill, no donar-li tota la responsabilitat de cop, si no poc a poc i tenir en compte el que fan els demés per mesurar-me i adaptar el meu rol de pare/mare.

 

Finalment, si entenem que els nens han d’equivocar-se per poder aprendre, d’aquesta manera desenvolupar els seus propis recursos resolutius i que nosaltres hem d’estar al seu costat sense interferir i evitar aquestes situacions podré desfer-me del model sobreprotector.

 

Molts ànims!

 

 

 

Si teniu més interès en seguir investigant sobre aquest tema, us recomano mireu aquest vídeo (són uns 14 minuts).

 

Leído 28581 veces Última modificación el Jueves, 09 Marzo 2017 21:30

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